Maybe if the washer and dryer came with a remote ...
Odds are that the 18-year-olds settling into college dorms could reprogram a satellite dish faster than they'll figure out the coin-operated washers and dryers.
If Mom didn't teach them -- or they're still living at home with perks -- eventually a significant other or spouse will enlighten.
Tyler Oehmen, a freshman at Clarke College, learned from Mom about separating whites from colors. He's getting the hang of the whole laundry thing.
Mike Cyze, 31, on staff at Clarke, learned the fine points of laundry from wife Amanda.
"It's not rocket science," he said. And he knows that with a first baby on the way, it's all going to change.
Here is a collection of definitions, tips and tidbits for the laundry-challenged, gleaned from such Web sites as primermagazine.com (the weekly magazine for guys who want to be better men) and goodhousekeeping.com. Also, from Moms.
Laundry 101
Detergent: Liquid can be poured on top of the clothes; dry must be sprinkled in running water.
Water: Hot water gets whites cleaner, but today's detergents and machines work well with cold and save energy.
Separate: Colors -- whites, darks, brights, new blue jeans. Textures -- fuzzy from smooths and from fabrics such as corduroy, which act like Velcro.
Tags/labels: Read them. Heed them: "Dry Clean only" or "Hand Wash Only." If it says "Dry Flat," don't hang it over a line until the sleeves grow to orangutan length. Spread garment on a towel to dry.
Pockets: Empty them, unless you want clean money and shredded Kleenex stuck to everything.
Lint: It collects in a dryer screen; clean the screen after each load. (Lint is a fire hazard.)
Loads: Don't overfill washer or dryer. They can become unbalanced and make strange noises. Clothes won't get as clean, nor will they dry well.
Hanging: Shirts can be hung on hangers (plastic, not metal) to dry, instead of going into the dryer.
Folding: Smooth as you go to avoid wrinkles. In general, fold in thirds on a flat surface.
Closets/dressers: Where clean clothes go. Laundry baskets are not storage units.
The Husband
Mike Cyze, 31, of Asbury, Iowa, executive director of communication at Clarke College
Who taught you how to do laundry?
My wife, Amanda. We've been married for five years. At first, Amanda did the majority of it, and I still don't claim to be the main laundry person. But we're expecting our first baby Dec. 30, and I know it will change.
Do you hate doing laundry?
We just purchased a new washer and dryer. Our old ones were from 1986. I jokingly said to Amanda, I would be happy to take responsibility now. The machines are so cool. It's all digital. It seems like they're gearing it more toward men.
Do you consider folding, hanging up and otherwise putting away to be part of the task?
I have to ask for help folding. She can fold it perfectly and it's symmetrical. It's not a strong skill for me.
What mistakes have you made?
Nothing major, but I'm not afraid to ask for help. I've learned to separate jeans from towels.
How often do you do laundry?
About once a week. I'd prefer one fell swoop. My wife tends to be more diligent. We tag team on a Saturday afternoon. She'll put in a load and I'll switch it to the dryer while we're doing something else.
Any advice?
Separate the colors. If you're supposed to do hot water and you do cold instead, you could get away
with that -- but not colors.
The Freshman
Tyler Oehmen, 18, of St. Louis, a communication major at Clarke College
Who taught you how to do laundry?
My mom. Actually, we started last summer, but that didn't last. I think I lasted a month (doing it consistently).
Do you hate doing laundry?
I'm not a fan, but I don't hate it.
Do you consider folding, hanging up and otherwise putting away to be part of the task?
I'm pretty good at the hanging up part, but they're not folded very well. I do put them away, but they might be a little wrinkled. Some guys leave theirs all over the room.
What mistakes have you made?
The first time doing laundry here (at Clarke), I thought I broke the machine. We had an old machine at home, and it was a little weird to do it here. It wouldn't start and the light was blinking, but when I opened the door, it started.
I have seen a few guys walking around with pink shirts ... but I think some of the shirts were already pink.
How often do you do laundry?
I'll probably do it every week and a half or so. I won't let it pile up.
Any advice?
Make sure you read the directions on the washing machine, in case you do something wrong. If you play sports and have sweaty clothes, you might want to do it more often. (He'll play men's volleyball at Clarke.)
