We have been on a fall tour of weddings.
On Oct. 10, we were at my wife's cousin's wedding in Clear Lake, Iowa. Then, on Oct. 17, another one of my wife's cousins got married in Onalaska, Wis.
My wife is nowhere near out of cousins -- I believe she has more than 200. But I'm guessing. I have two cousins, Beth Ann and Barbara. If I were to name all of my wife's cousins, this column would be over.
On Nov. 7, we have my best friend's parents' 50-year anniversary party to go to in Milwaukee. We do have next Saturday open if there's a wedding or party out there you think we should attend.
Weddings are nice, and the kids really enjoy them. For the Clear Lake wedding we stayed in a hotel and it was like a dream come true for Ean and Ellie. They danced the night away, then we visited the hotel pool, then we went back to the hotel room, ate popcorn and watched "Ice Age 2" on TV.
The dream ended on the way home when Ellie took ill and threw up repeatedly in the van.
My columns have featured a lot of vomit in recent weeks -- 'tis the season.
A recent trend I've noticed at weddings is the placing of chocolate on the dinner tables. This is the best thing to come to weddings since free beer.
At the Onalaska wedding, there were Hershey Kisses. At the Clear Lake wedding there were all kinds of goodies -- Snickers, Twix, M&M's (Plain and Peanut) and more. At our table, the chocolate was quickly gone. But at the table next to us, the people weren't eating their chocolate.
This quickly got the attention of me, my wife and my brother-in-law, Ryan (Vikings fan, but other than that not a bad guy). Why would they not eat perfectly good chocolate? Were they saving them for after dinner?
Nope. Dinner came and went and the chocolate remained untouched.
The occupants of the table sat and chatted after dinner. We sat and waited for them to leave. Would you leave an orphaned child unattended? Would you not help an abandoned puppy? In the same manner, good chocolate should have a home -- preferably my stomach.
But the people at the table would not leave. The kids started to wander and we had to keep an eye on them. So Ryan came up with a code word. When he said, "Swarm, swarm, swarm!" that meant it was time to swoop down on the chocolate.
Eventually the kids headed to the dance floor and we lost sight of the chocolate. It might still be there for all I know.
We'll just have to wait for the Nov. 7 party, and hope that chocolate on the tables is also an anniversary party trend.
You can e-mail Ken at kbrown@wcinet.com.
